Jewelry Thief

Then there was the time I interviewed a jewelry thief in jail for the newspaper.  This was the same jewelry store where I bought my wife her ring.  He threw a brick through the window, grabbed a handful and ran.  Although his trial was still pending, he told me straight out he was guilty as sin and deserved to be convicted.  I didn't publish that detail, though.  This interview was about Christmas in jail.  Or maybe it was about DNA evidence.  Anyway, he had an accomplice--a guy who was mentally handicapped.  He felt sorry for him and that's why he invited him along.  Everybody needs a helping hand.  He said he probably wouldn't have been caught if it weren't for his accomplice.  But it wasn't his fault, really.  He was mentally handicapped.  He was a good guy.  I stuck a tape recorder on the table and we chatted for an hour or so.  The guy was eloquent and funny.  He talked about going on suicide watch.  "You tell them you're thinking about killing yourself, they say okay then handcuff you to a little bed.  That was horrible!  I'm never doing that again."  He leaned into me and arched his eyebrows, then slapped his hand on the table and laughed.  Man, he was funny.  I sure wish I kept the transcript.  I got yelled at later for leading with him instead of the State's Attorney.  But the truth was, the jewelry thief was more eloquent and more funny.